» News & Updates
What is Domestic Violence Awareness Month?
Every October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) is observed to bring to light an issue that effects our community in a staggering way. DVAM is an opportunity for domestic violence organizations like TMWF, to connect with the community through meaningful outreach and awareness raising events.
Our “Peace in the Home” program has helped families to survive the trauma of abuse and achieve well-being, such as Uma and her family. Uma’s story below is just one instance where YOUR belief in our mission has made a life-changing difference.
Uma*, a young woman, and her husband, and their 3 children came from East Africa to the U.S. as refugees. While living with her husband, Uma was abused physically, emotionally, and financially by her spouse and had no one to turn to. Her friends were afraid to help her; her community was unable to understand what she was going through and asked her to be more understanding of her spouse to keep the family together. Because of her community, Uma never called the police. Read more.
#TakeaStand. Together we can stop this epidemic.
Talk about domestic violence and help us fight the cycle of abuse!
Victims of domestic violence like Uma live in constant fear. They feel the abuse is their fault and often times try to either minimize, or take responsibility for the abuser’s behavior. For victims of domestic violence home becomes a walk in a field of land mines – a place of constant terror.
Domestic violence at home also robs children of their childhood! Children are impacted by abuse sometimes even more than the victim. A child does not need to be directly abused or witness abuse to suffer its consequences; if abuse happens in the home, they know and are impacted for life. More.
YOUR contributions make it possible for us to provide 24-hour emergency shelter, 24-hour hotline, case management, legal representation as well as counseling for the victims and their children.
Everyone has a role to play in building a safer Texas. There are many ways you can show your support for family violence victims and survivors, and help create communities free from violence (tcfv.org).
Thank you for your generous donation to Texas Muslim Women’s Foundation on North Texas Giving Day 2016. The results are in!
We are humbled and honored by your continued support to fulfill our mission to empower, promote and support all women and their families.
TMWF uses your valuable contributions in the most effective way possible to bring renewed hope for the community’s most vulnerable members; promise of a brighter future for our youth; and education to build a stronger community.
YOUR gift makes YOU a true #PeaceChampion. Your commitment to TMWF means the world to us and on behalf of our Board of Directors, staff, clients and community, we thank you for your generosity.
Note: We invite you to contact your employer to learn more about taking advantage of corporate matches. These programs are excellent ways to make your contribution go further for TMWF.
Assalaamu Alaikum (Peace be upon you) Dear Friends,
Dear TMWF Friends and Supporters,
From the Executive Director:
“September: A Month of Remembrance, Celebration and Coming Together Emphasizing Our Common Bonds of Compassion, Kindness and Mutual Respect”
In contemplating the coming month’s events, I am deeply moved by their tremendous significance, locally, nationally, and internationally. September is an extremely busy month for TMWF, as you will see in this newsletter. Please join us for the wonderful programs, events, and presentations, which you will find extremely informative and relevant to ensuring a society of compassion, care, and positive social change.
I. September 5, 2016, Labor Day was a celebration of all the workers who contribute their expertise and knowledge to help society function smoothly.
II. September 11, 2016, is the remembrance of the tragic events of 9-11-2001, which changed history for us here as well as the whole world. We make sincere prayers for the families of the victims and all people in the world to live together in peace, harmony, and good will.
III. This year September 11, 2016, coincides with The Day of Arafah on the Islamic lunar calendar. The Day of Arafah is the final day of the annual Muslim Pilgrimage to Mecca, the Hajj. September 12, 2016 coincides with the celebration that culminates the ending of the Hajj, called Eid al Adha, known as the Festival of Sacrifice (celebrated for four days). These holy days will be observed by about three million pilgrims while they fulfill the fifth obligatory Tenant of Islam, the Hajj, as well as the rest of the 1.6 billion Muslims all over the world. During this major observance, Muslims are paying tribute and enacting the story of Abraham-the patriarch of prophets and messengers for Jews, Christians, and Muslims-therefore emphasizing that the essence of these three major world religions is the same.
I cannot help noting that the Day of Arafah this year is falling on September 11. Three million pilgrims will gather on the small hilltop called Arafah (Arabic for “to recognize”) in Mecca, where tradition claims that this is where Adam reunited with Eve after they descended from Heaven! It is such a sobering reminder that all of humanity are children of one couple, and all are brothers and sisters and cousins of one another, with common bonds uniting them together, irrespective of their different faiths, denominations, genders, ages, languages, customs, and economic statuses. While the Muslim pilgrims are on Mount Arafah (September 11, 2016), dressed in the simplest of outfits, they are indistinguishable from one another in their observance of the ritual. They all are actually rehearsing how all of humanity will be resurrected on the Day of Judgement, and will be standing before the ultimate and just Creator, with only their deeds and actions to speak for them!
As a Muslim, I feel that we are sending a message to our brothers and sisters in humanity, that should also be the most eloquent response to Islamophobes and hate-mongers, who are trying to separate God’s creation into ‘them’ and ‘us’, and turning races and faiths against one another: On this September 11, 2016, all Muslims worldwide will stand together as one compassionate caring human community, exchanging good wishes of peace together, and donating generously to feed and help those less fortunate, while following the example of Abraham-the father of all the monotheistic messengers-unified in their humanity and humility.
“Eid Mubarak” to all our Muslim brothers and sisters here in North Texas and to the 1.6 billion Muslims worldwide for the great celebration of Eid-ul-Adha-the major Feast of Sacrifice.
IV. September 17, 2016, is the official opening of the Islamic Art Revival Series 5th Annual International Juried Exhibition at the Irving Arts Center. This event also highlights our shared humanity as it uses the universal language of art to communicate to all world cultures. Artists from different countries will present their talent and show the expansive influence of Islamic art on a large range of cultures resulting in a unique as well as inclusive whole.
V. September 22, 2016, North Texas Giving Day is another great day witnessing the bond among ALL people in support of charities benefitting different causes and needs. In fact, it is a miniature replication of Muslim giving during Eid-ul-Adha! Last year North Texas Giving Day raised $33 million through more than 118,000 gifts benefiting 2,020 nonprofits. Can you imagine what 1.6 billion Muslims giving on any Eid can amount to and how many people can benefit?
VI. September 24, 2016, is Muslim Day of Dignity where all Muslim charities come together to feed the homeless in South Dallas, and when TMWF will be sponsoring a workshop on “Establishing Peaceful Families” at EPIC Mosque in Plano.
My dear TMWF friends, members, staff, donors, I am inviting you all to join us at the upcoming celebrations, remembrances, and charitable giving to spread good will and compassion among all our brothers and sisters in North Texas.
I’m also asking for your sincere and heartfelt prayers for our loved ones experiencing very serious challenges to their health and emotional, economic, and physical well-being. May God bestow infinite blessings of healing and stability in their lives!
Hind Jarrah, Ph.D.
Texas Muslim Women’s Foundation
Save the Date
September 22 – North Texas Giving Day
Why should you give on North Texas Giving Day?
Your support of TMWF’s various programs makes a difference in so many ways. When you:
- Champion our Social Services Program, you are helping the helpless out of a difficult situation and giving them strength so that victims can become survivors.
- Support our Youth Leadership Program, you are making the youth feel heard and embraced and letting them know that they have a critical role in society.
- Sponsor our Islamic Arts Revival Series program, you demonstrate the inclusiveness and diversity of our community here in North Texas, and emphasize the wealth of cultures and heritage that connects us all.
- Participate in our Interfaith Outreach Program, you are advocate for the shared concerns of humanity and work across differences in faith for the common good.
We encourage you to give generously to TMWF and other charities of your choice on North Texas Giving Day. Donations that range between $25 to $50,000 will be multiplied by $2.5 million in bonus funds and prizes, which increases the value of the donation!
By giving during North Texas Giving Day, you show the care and compassion of the Muslim community.
Mark your calendars and be part of the excitement and incredible generosity!
TMWF provides free, comprehensive, trauma Informed and culturally sensitive services: case management, counseling, play therapy for children, legal representation in immigration and family law, and financial empowerment, specially for victims of domestic violence, regardless of faith, ethnic background and race.
TMWF services also include:
- Non-residential Outreach (at TMWF offices for non-residential clients)
- 24 hour Peaceful Oasis shelter
- Transitional housing for victims and their children needing residential assistance
HELP IS AVAILABLE!! Please reach out for help if you or someone you know needs help.
Zika Repellent Update: Materials Now Available
With the rise of the Zika Virus outbreak, the Texas Department of State Health Services (DSHS) is sharing information to help prevent the spread of the Zika Virus in Texas. The Texas Health and Human Services Commission (HHSC) issued a press release confirming that Healthy Texas Women and Texas Medicaid will cover the cost of mosquito repellent for women who are between the ages of 10 and 45 or pregnant.
DSHS has developed materials, including a digital information toolkit with newsletter copy, flyers/fact sheets, posters, social media content and PSA’s for organizations to share with their constituents and employees. These resources offer information regarding simple but important steps Texans can take to help prevent the spread of the Zika virus. The materials are free and available to download or available to order online through this link: http://www.texaszika.org.
Thanks to MAS Dallas Girl Scouts Troup 2420
for the hygiene kits for our clients! Your contribution helps us meet the needs of the many we serve!
5th Annual Juried Exhibition of Contemporary Islamic Art
September 17 – November 13
We are proud to announce that artwork created by our own Islamic Art Revival Series Curator, Shafaq Ahmad, “Ilm o Ishk” (Knowledge and Love), sculpture of plexi-glass, won best work in the juried art exhibit of the Dallas Public Library.
Additionally, Ms. Ahmad will exhibit her installation in the main gallery at the Irving Art Center during the IARS 5th Annual International Juried Art Exhibition. On October 22, after the Jason Moriyama lecture, she will have a brief collaborative presentation and performance with the Ismaili Muslim Youth Choir of Dallas.
Sept. 18 – Workshop: Orientation for New Refugees
North Texas is receiving a large number of Syrian families who will need our community’s support. This workshop co-sponsored by TMWF and the Islamic Circle of North America (ICNA) provides insight on the needs of new refugees joining our community. Please consider contacting TMWF, not just to give short-term support of food or clothing, but for long-term support such as adopting a family, mentoring youth, or teaching English as a Second Language.
Where: Islamic Association of North Texas (IANT), 840 Abrams Rd, Richardson, TX 75081
Time: 2:00-6:00 pm
For more information and registration email email@example.com.
Sept. 20 – TMWF Women’s Cultural Day Luncheon
This month’s TMWF Monthly Ladies Only Luncheon
celebrates the various cultures that make up our community. We invite you to wear your cultural ethnic attire and come prepared to mingle with a diverse group of ladies from around the globe who call Texas home. Enjoy the delicious food of Zonga’s Mediterranean Grill
. We’d like to thank Zonga’s owner, Bassem Odeh, for kindly hosting us at his restaurant.
Hosted at Zonga’s Mediterranean Grill
Where: 7657 Boulevard 26, North Richland Hills, TX 76180
Time: 11:30 am- 2:00 pm
Admission: $20 donation
By early reservation only.
Seats limited/First come first served.
For more information and reservations please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 469.467.6241.
To join the mailing list to receive notification of upcoming “Ladies Only” Monthly Luncheons Contact us at email@example.com.
Sept. 24 – TMWF Presentation at East Plano Islamic Center: “Are We Establishing Peaceful Families?”
Please join TMWF and EPIC Community in learning about the elements necessary for establishing peaceful families and addressing the scourge of domestic violence that disrupts the sanctity of our homes.
Where: East Plano Islamic Center, 1350 Star Court, Plano, TX 75074
Time: 2:00-6:00 pm
Click here for more information and registration.
Oct. 2 – TMWF Workshop at Crystal Banquet: “Safe Conversations: Ways to Establish Peaceful Families”
Please join TMWF’s Executive Director, Dr. Hind Jarrah, as she presents ways to establish peaceful families through safe conversations.
Where: Crystal Banquet Hall, 6300 Independence Pkwy, Plano, TX 75023
Time: 2:00-6:00 pm
Fee: $5 per person
Youth Leadership Development
Hope everyone has had an amazing summer! Here are some of our upcoming events for this fall.
- September 24 – Day of Dignity
- October 8 – White Rock Lake Cleanup
- November 19 – Plano Community Garden
On September 24, we will be volunteering at Day of Dignity to help provide hygiene kits, clothes, household items, health screenings, and fruit to the underprivileged in Dallas. The address is Martin Luther King Center on MLK Boulevard, Dallas, TX 75215. We will announce the time soon. Also, TMWF will be collecting fruit to distribute on the Day of Dignity, so please email firstname.lastname@example.org to sign up to donate fruit. It will be greatly appreciated by the recipients!
On October 8, we will be volunteering at the White Rock Lake Cleanup. Location is White Rock Lake, Dallas, TX and the time will be announced soon. We will be picking up trash around White Rock Lake in Dallas. Volunteers will be provided with disposable raincoats (depending on the weather forecast), trash bags, tools to pick up trash, as well as hot coffee, water, and breakfast (fruit, granola bars, cookies, donuts, etc.). This is a great opportunity to easily gain volunteer hours while also enjoying fresh air and the beauty of the lake.
On November 19, we will volunteer at the Plano Community Garden from 9:00 am to 12:00 pm. Location is 4030 W Plano Pkwy, Plano, TX 75093.
Tasks vary each month but they always need help with weeding, mulching, pruning and turning the compost piles. They provide adult gardening gloves and tools but volunteers may bring their own. Since no gardening experience is necessary, even non-gardeners can join in the fun. Please be aware that parking in the gardens is limited so carpooling is encouraged, whenever possible. Only 10 volunteer spots are available. Email us to RSVP your spot!
Note: Volunteers 13 and younger should be accompanied by a parent or guardian
All volunteers can earn volunteer hours for their service. To sign up for these events, please respond email email@example.com.
Stay up to date with future fall TMWF Youth volunteer activities by visiting our Facebook page!
Texas Muslim Women’s Foundation continues building bridges of understanding and goodwill among peoples of all faiths and races.
There are many upcoming opportunities for you to meet your neighbors and make new friends. Please join us for these events.
We continue our interfaith outreach, via our membership in the The 2nd Community – a multi-faith community program formed to share faith stories “freely and fearlessly” and hosted by Northaven United Methodist Church. The 2nd Community events serve to facilitate a respectful understanding of the beliefs and practices of others and, in so doing, enriching one’s own faith perspective.
“The theme of the ten monthly sessions of The 2nd Community in 2016 (February-November) focuses on “Owning Violence: Affirming Nonviolence”. During these sessions, participants will develop an informed understanding of violence and nonviolence from various perspectives.”
Click here to register.
We look forward to seeing you there.
We appreciate our supporters!
“My life and the lives of my children have been forever changed, they have been restored to a peaceful place and none of this would have been possible had I not reached out to TMWF.” – TMWF Client, S.B.*
Texas Muslim Women’s Foundation was recently selected by the Liberty Mutual Foundation
and United Way of Metropolitan Dallas
to receive grant funding in support of our efforts to provide aid for some of the most vulnerable members of our community.
Often, our clients come to us in fear with nothing more than a few personal belongings. We provide shelter, food, clothing, counseling, and support that address not only urgent needs but also compassion to help our clients get back on their feet and on the path to healthy productive lives. Thanks to the support of those like Liberty Mutual and the United Way of Metropolitan Dallas, we are able to provide a safe haven and support for families who are struggling due to domestic violence.
We would like to congratulate and thank the Irving Arts Center Staff and the Islamic Art Revival Series (IARS) Team for an outstanding Public Opening Reception on September 17, 2016, of IARS 5th Annual Juried International Exhibition of Contemporary Islamic Art at the Irving Arts Center.
Fifteen of the participating artists were on hand to welcome over 200 guests at the private and public screening. Among the guests were Irving Art Center’s board members, and directors of the greater Asian American Chamber of Commerce, Fashion Design Department at UNT, the Arts and Technology Department at UTD, the Perkins School of Theology at SMU, and interfaith friends and community leaders from all over the Metroplex. Aramco World Magazine’s editor Richard Doughty attended as well.
We are very appreciative of all the Irving Arts Center staff, especially, Todd Eric Hawkins, Executive Director, and Marcie Inman, Director of Exhibitions and Education, for graciously hosting and helping put together the exhibition. Special thanks to the hard working IARS team, Shafaq Ahmad, Art Director and Exhibit Curator; Samia Khan, Program Director; Almas Muscatwalla, Workshops Coordinator; Tasnim McCormick Benhalim, Fundraiser Director; and Reshma Syed, Volunteer Coordinator. A special thank you to Mr. Bassam Odeh, owner of Zonga’s Mediterranean Grill, for providing the delicious appetizers at the reception (thanks to Mr. Odeh and Zonga’s for also hosting September’s Ladies Only Monthly luncheon).
Much gratitude also to our very knowledgeable keynote speaker for the evening, Louise Mackie, the Curator for Islamic Textiles and Art at Cleveland Museum of Art, who taught us about the importance of textiles in Islamic art and gave us the foundation for further understanding of the beautiful exhibit. Much thanks goes out to the esteemed juror of the exhibition, Dr. Maryam Ekhtiar, who is the Associate Curator of Islamic Art at The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. And, of course, last but certainly not least, we applaud and greatly appreciate all the artists who applied to the exhibit and shared their expressive work for all to enjoy and ponder the message of art as a universal language and a connecting bridge between all cultures.
We were also honored to have had Richard Doughty, the editor of Aramco World Magazine attend the IARS 5th Annual Juried International Art Exhibition, and we thank him for including the event in the international magazine.
We cordially invite you to join us for with your family and friends at this educational, contemporary Islamic art event, with workshops, presentations, musical performances, tours, and juried Islamic art exhibit of 54 artists from 23 US states and 9 countries.
Private tours may also be scheduled at your request, and all activities are free. The exhibit runs from now through November 13. Gallery Admission is FREE. Click here for Gallery hours.
Click here to learn more about all the upcoming events.
Presented by the Islamic Art Revival Series in partnership with Irving Arts Center, the 5th Annual Juried Exhibition of Contemporary Islamic Art is a program of the Texas Muslim Women’s Foundation. Dr. Maryam Ekhtiar, Associate Curator of Islamic Art at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York will act as juror for the exhibition which will be on display in the Main Gallery at Irving Arts Center September 17 – November 13.
“This prestigious international exhibition of artwork is inspired by Islamic culture, art, literature and architecture and features works in a variety of styles and media from artists around the world,” states Shafaq Ahmad, Art Director for the Islamic Art Revival Series. “Showcasing the work of artists from diverse backgrounds, the exhibit offers a window through contemporary art to one fifth of the world’s population, spread out over five continents.”
Interview With Salma Abugideiri, Peaceful Families Project (PFP) Trainer and Consultant
The Annual Ramadan Domestic Violence Awareness Campaign is a partnership between TMWF and local imams. This partnership aims to cultivate peace in our homes especially given the emphasis during this holy month on self-improvement and reflection. The campaign’s goal is to educate the community regarding how to recognize as well as prevent domestic violence (DV), and to highlight sources that are available to help.
The Peaceful Families Project (PFP) is a national organization, which assists TMWF in its campaign. PFP is an educational and resource program dedicated to ending DV in Muslim families. Salma Abugideiri is a PFP trainer and consultant. She is also a licensed professional counselor providing individual and family therapy in private practice in Virginia, and has authored and co-authored several articles, books, and training manuals. She explains that PFP defines healthy relationships and DV through the Islamic perspective. It offers training and develops resources, but does not offer direct counseling services. It educates imams and offers community workshops.
Abugideiri says, the Qur’an and Sunnah (the teachings and practices of the Prophet Muhammad [pbuh]) are used “to shift people’s attitudes.” The Islamic teachings help guide individuals to answer such questions as: Is it ok to make a police report? In what case is it ok to talk publicly about what is going on in your family? What are the roles and rights of each spouse? When is it ok to go to a shelter? Etc. Abugideiri highlights, “We use Islamic teachings, and we talk about DV under the context of oppression. As Muslims, we have a mandate to stand for justice and fight oppression. That’s how we frame what we teach.”
Abugideiri highly values education and sees it as the best way to promote awareness and prevention. She highlights the importance of premarital counseling as an educational tool. There is a great deal of research that supports its effectiveness in nurturing and maintaining healthy relationships.
Premarital counseling “prepares people and helps them think through what their expectations are, what their vision is of their relationship… to make sure that when they are considering someone for marriage, they are making wise choices…[and are] marrying people that have a common vision…common goals…[and] helps them learn good communication skills.”
Abugideiri further elaborates on the benefits of premarital counseling as “not only can it prevent divorce, but it can also allow couples to have a more stable start and to know when they need to seek help.” She stresses that while she strongly advocates premarital counseling, it does not prevent all problems, “but it provides couples with some tools… [It can teach] healthy relationship dynamics, [so that if] a few months into the marriage there is DV occurring… a problem that was not avoided, people will seek help much earlier than they do to get early intervention. That is the hope [of premarital counseling] and the research does bear that out.”
When PFP trains imams, PFP encourages imams to require premarital counseling as a prerequisite before they issue a marriage certificate. PFP has found that there are now many mosques that have made it a mandatory requirement. However, not all mosques do, and some couples, who do not see the need or do not understand the importance of premarital counseling, seek out such mosques. Nevertheless, premarital counseling, premarital workshops, and couples workshops are becoming an emerging trend.
When asked if she thought public awareness campaigns are working, Abugideiri says she sees a definite difference over the twenty plus years that she has been a practicing counselor.
“I have seen a huge shift from people being very reluctant not only to seek counseling, but also to even go into the field as a professional.” She adds, “When I started…I might have even been the only licensed mental health professional in private practice in my area [Northern Virginia] who wanted to practice with the Muslim community. Now…that people are coming forward…we can accommodate the needs.”
She applauds imams for having helped to increase awareness and create an attitude shift regarding DV, as well as general mental health issues, which have made a difference in the way that people come forward. She admits that, “My dream has always been that people would think of mental health like they think of dental health…that they would have well visits or check ups.” She cites that recently she has been encouraged by some young couples who have spoken publicly at workshops, saying, “We are going for mental health check ups, relationship check ups. We love it, [and] we want everybody to do it.”
Abugideiri does make the distinction between the response of the community to DV and mental health issues. She says that with mental health, as in issues of depression or anxiety, the individual is seeking help for him or herself. However, there is a greater resistance to admitting the need for help with DV, because that involves the whole family.
“The issues are a little bit different in that it is not just an individual that is going forward for treatment. It is an individual who is coming forward saying, ‘My family is broken’ basically. So there are a lot more people impacted when someone comes forward, and the community is still very conflicted about filing police reports, going through the court system, seeking actions that are much more public. Ultimately, it can lead to the family splitting apart.”
There is still a great lack of understanding of DV. An individual who needs to seek mental health counseling might mistakenly believe that prayer and a strengthening of faith are sufficient to combat anxiety and depression. The DV victim might also be mistakenly convinced that it is shameful to talk of divorce and/or to get law enforcement involved. Additionally, the DV victim might stay in an abusive relationship without seeking help because they mistakenly believe their tragic situation is their fate, so it is their duty to be patient and endure the abuse.
In her private practice, when there is active DV, Abugideiri focuses on the victim and the perpetrator as individuals not as a couple. First she ensures that the victim is in a safe place. She emphasizes that DV counseling is very different from individual mental health issues. Depending on the situation, counseling as a couple may not be an option. The treatment approach depends on the issues involved. If children are involved, there is an emphasis on their safety as well as breaking the cycle of violence. In the PFP workshops and trainings, “we talk about the impact of DV on children and the importance of understanding that nobody is doing any favors to a child by keeping them in a violent home. We talk about the impact psychologically, the legal impact, the health impact, all of that.”
By the time people have come to see a counselor they have overcome whatever stigma they had about coming forward. The initial hurdle is actually calling to make the appointment. Some victims make appointments several years after having heard of the counselor, citing being embarrassed, or ashamed to make the call. Unfortunately, it is sometimes not until things get really bad, or the crisis is unbearable, that people call.
Abugideiri concludes that every person in the community can make a difference in preventing or ending DV simply by “learning about the dynamics, being aware when they see things happening around them…when we hear people making comments that are either disparaging to women or that misrepresent the Islamic perspective on relationships, people should speak up.”
Additionally, when the community is aware of DV and someone notices “somebody may be in an abusive relationship they should give them information about resources, whether it’s TMWF or whether it’s the National DV Hotline. If someone discloses to a friend that they are in an abusive situation…simply by listening and believing what they are telling you, you are making a difference. We have at the PFP website some tips, under DV facts.”
Abugideiri emphasizes, “I think it is very important for people to know that it is everybody’s problem. It’s not just a woman’s problem. It’s not just the problem of the person who has been abused. But all of us in the community are impacted when there is violence in our homes.” She highlights the need to break the cycle of violence that repeats from one generation to the next “because those kids are impacted, when they grow up and become teenagers they are bullied or become bullies. When they grow up and marry they might be abusive or victimized. We want to reverse the cycle. Everybody needs to realize it is everybody’s problem.”
DV awareness must be an on going conversation within the community, “Just try to think of something that…might have an impact, even if it is simply…[to] speak about the issue, don’t be silent.”
Abugideiri ends on a positive note stating that things are changing for the better with people becoming more aware and more imams around the country who are understanding of the issue. There are more resources for Muslim communities around the country, such as social services organizations, shelters, hotlines, counseling services, and DV organizations.
“We still have a lot of work to do. We still have a lot of people who need to be trained but there is definitely progress. The more that we work as a community to address this issue, the more of a dent we put into it.”
1 The late educator and activist, Sharifa Alkhateeb began PFP in 1998 as a survey of 63 Muslim leaders and their congregations, which was sponsored by the Department of Justice to investigate violence in the Muslim community. Alkhateeb founded the existing organization in 2000, to address the findings of that survey which showed 10% of the congregants’ families had experienced DV. The survey focused on physical and sexual abuse, but not emotional, verbal, financial, or spiritual abuse. PFP has been both an independent organization (2008-2015) and a program of other organizations due to sustainability and funding issues. However, these structural changes have not changed its purpose and work. As of 2016, it is currently an initiative of United Muslim Relief.
Responding to the Orlando Community Tragedy
Behavioral Health Resources To Foster Resilience
The emotional toll from the mass shooting earlier this week in Orlando, Florida, continues to resonate both locally and nationwide. Following a tragedy of this magnitude, mental health support can make a substantial difference in beginning to heal a traumatized community. SAMHSA has tools and resources to support survivors, community members, responders, and behavioral health providers to foster recovery and resilience.
Click here for resources for Survivors and Community Members.
Connect to Crisis Counseling via Phone or Text
The toll-free Disaster Distress Helpline offers immediate assistance for those who are experiencing psychological distress following this tragedy. Call 1-800-985-5990 or text “TalkWithUs” to 66746 to reach this confidential, multilingual helpline and connect with trained and caring professionals for counseling, referrals, and other support services.
The helpline’s SMS service is also available in Spanish. Text “Hablanos” to 66746 for emotional support.
TTY for Deaf/Hearing Impaired: 1-800-846-8517
Visit the Disaster Distress Helpline website.
All Our Brothers and Sisters
5th Annual TMWF Mother’s Day Luncheon
We would like to thank everyone who joined us at our Mother’s Day Luncheon. Thank you to Rabbi Elana Ann Zelony, Shaykh Omar Suleiman, Rev. Dr. Michael W. Waters. We hope you were inspired by these great panelists as much as we were!
Rabbi Elana Ann Zelony, Rev. Dr. Michael W. Waters,and Shaykh Omar Suleiman
We are honored and blessed that we have such incredible great support! Thank you again for playing an important role in building peaceful communities.
With the theme, “All Our Brothers and Sisters,” the 5th Annual Texas Muslim Women’s Foundation (TMWF) Mother’s Day Luncheon took place on May 4, 2016 at the Glen Eagles Country Club in Plano, Texas. The meeting captured the spirit of what TMWF is achieving within its immediate and extended communities. From the speakers to the guests to the vendors, all are united in voicing one unifying message: we can best succeed if we work together.
TMWF Board Chair, Yasmina BenHalim, first laid out the broad scope of TMWF’s contributions to the community. She reminded us that, “Every day is Mother’s Day…from the moment you set your eyes on that beautiful baby girl or boy, your life long journey begins.” She also recognized and applauded the importance of men and fathers working with and standing up for women and mothers for the betterment and strength of the children and the family unit. “TMWF is involved with [strengthening] the family as a whole. We strive to fulfill our mission statement to empower, promote, and support all women and their families, through education, outreach, philanthropy, and social services. We engage all members of the community: women, men, seniors, and youth. We believe that each individual plays a vital role in fostering peace and wellbeing in the community in which they live.”
The importance of the social services component of TMWF was made quite clear through the second guest speaker, Nishat, speaking on domestic violence. This past March, Nishat’s sister was killed by her husband of twenty years, in Plano, after she initiated a divorce. After killing his wife, he killed himself, orphaning their three children. Nishat candidly and poignantly relayed how her sister did not speak to her about any of her suffering, nor did Nishat see any signs of it as her sister hid her fears. Nishat is more than ever steadfast in her commitment to helping other victims. Her primary advice to victims of domestic abuse is to not be ashamed, but speak out and seek help. To the rest of us, she advises that we encourage open dialogue about any concerns, and continuously reach out to all our loved ones, looking for any signs of suffering in order to intervene before tragedy occurs. She reminds us that domestic abuse is not only physical, but can also be verbal, emotional, and financial. Nishat is now giving a voice to her sister’s tragedy, and hoping that she can influence those suffering in silence to speak out so as to save themselves from a similar fate as her sister’s.
The third presentation highlights a member of the community not often in the public eye but critical in the assistance of those in need of help: the social worker. Adeel Najmi shared a close up look at the life and work of his late mother, Mrs. Qaiser Jahan Najmi, a highly dedicated and compassionate social worker. To honor their mother, her family created The Qaiser Jahan Najmi Memorial Fund and has chosen TMWF as its recipient, to use the funds in whatever areas are in need. The Najmi family felt that TMWF’s mission closely mirrored that of Mrs. Najmi. Among her many contributions in Pakistan, she established an orphanage, a woman’s shelter, and a ladies industrial home, which gave these women an income through the selling of their handiwork in monthly bazaars that showcased their work. These various institutions that Mrs. Najmi helped found are still functioning to this day. It was touching to see, Mr. Najmi, speaking so fondly of his mother’s remarkable efforts and accomplishments. He closed with, “My mother will be remembered for her love of humanity and compassion for the poor and oppressed.”
The family appreciated that TMWF describes itself as Muslim women working for all women, as Mrs. Najmi’s work in Pakistan showed the need for social services is indeed a universal need.
The panel discussions represent TMWF’s outreach to the extended community, in friendship and solidarity with the intent of peace building with those of other faiths. As Dr. Hind said in her introduction of the panelists, “They are awesome representatives of everything that we would like TMWF to stand for: peace, justice, true faith, and respect for all human beings across all ethnicities and all races.” The panelists addressed the need to solidify bonds between different faith communities, as well as, how to deal with discrimination in any context.
The first panelist, Rabbi Elana Zelony of Congregation Beth Torah in Richardson is the first female Rabbi in the Jewish Conservative Movement in the entire state of Texas. Rabbi Elana developed her approach to discrimination and interfaith relations through various experiences throughout her life. Her first encounter with discrimination was in third grade by her classmates who shunned her not being Christian. As she grew older, she was exposed to both positive interest in her identity as well as discrimination.
In college, she was drawn to interfaith work where she was pleasantly surprised to find that others wanted to know about her traditions and she could find out more about theirs. The sharing of traditions not only allowed for an appreciation of differences but also the discovery of clear commonalities between those differing traditions. From college on to rabbinical school, then on to her first experiences as a young female Rabbi, and then on to motherhood, Rabbi Elana encountered many forms of discrimination. She was either too Jewish or too female. However, she came to realize that if she tried to assimilate, by either being less Jewish or more male, she would be pretending to be something that she was not. Rabbi Elana explains that she had to be true to herself acknowledging that “the problem with assimilation is that everyone loses out; if I’m not willing to share the wisdom from my tradition then that piece of wisdom is missing from the world.” We must reach out and help others see that we are all the same in the sense that we are all valuable.
The next panelist was Reverend Dr. Michael Waters the founder and senior pastor of Joy Tabernacle African Methodist Episcopal (A.M.E.) Church in Dallas. Reverend Waters spoke specifically about discrimination against African Americans.
Their ongoing struggles highlight how hate and violence lead to many difficulties and tragedies. Dr. Waters spoke about two of the worst terrorist attacks by white supremacist against predominately black churches in recent times: the 1963 bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama, and the 2015 mass shooting at the Emanuel African Methodist Church in Charleston, South Carolina. In both tragedies, the majority of those killed were female. Dr. Waters noted that “women and girls are at the forefront in the fight for justice and liberty both at home and abroad” and that “we share tears with those who have lost, [but] we often forget the pain felt especially by women and girls.” Both of the above-mentioned incidents led to some positive change, albeit very tragically brought about. The 1963 attack was climactic in a series of previous attacks as it highlighted the need for the passing of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The 2015 attack highlights many points including that racial discrimination has not gone away in the 21st century in the United States of America where democracy and the pursuit of happiness should be a right for all its citizens.
Rev. Dr. Waters has met some of the family members of those women who were massacred. Their advice was to “turn pain into purpose…to ensure that others do not go through the same painful experience.” He also advises that we need to be aware of our history, including the history of all the communities that make up our country. We must educate ourselves and our children so that we do not take for granted the sacrifices of others who have given us the freedoms we enjoy today. We must have continuous conversations, not just on special occasions, and we must note the freedoms we have in “common spaces…[such as when we] cast a ballot or enter from the front door.” The Reverend ended with a convocation of hope, “Every season of darkness, every season of oppression, every season of marginalization we have ever faced, it is our work together and it is our faith in God that has given us the power to overcome. I pray this same faith and this same power be yours today, now, and forever.”
The Islamic scholar, Sheikh Omar Suleiman, the director of the Islamic Learning Foundation of Texas and Resident Scholar at the Valley Ranch Islamic Center in Irving, Texas was the last panelist. Sheikh Omar described how he dealt with discrimination as he was growing up in New Orleans, Louisiana, the son of Palestinian immigrants. Because of his Muslim, Arab, and American identity, many people were not sure how to label him. He was often asked, “Where are you from?” Growing up in New Orleans, he saw and related to the discrimination faced by his African American neighbors as he witnessed Ku Klux Klan rallies. His experiences growing up showed him that racial barriers are “artificial and superficial,” and “it is the soul that defines a person.”
Sheikh Omar is steadfast in his belief that different faith communities uniting can “end the common ills and flaws of society.” He cited his work with the field group Muslims for Humanity that was helping the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Through their efforts with multiple other faith groups they all showed that “adversity brings people together in a way that prosperity cannot…when we are too comfortable, we are too idle and we don’t do anything to bridge those gaps.” He also noted that through adversity, what race or faith a suffering person was did not matter—all that mattered was getting through the adversity safely together.
In normal times, Sheikh Omar, advises us to see the human side of others, because “the more we humanize one another, the less we will discriminate against one another.” He sees bigotry as “a disease of the heart not the intellect…[whereby] good character and human interaction…[can remove] the locks from our hearts.”
Sheikh Omar asks us to have “genuine interaction on a very human level…talk about your life, your family, etc.” Have a continuous conversation on a regular basis to form strong and genuine bonds. He warns us that the devaluing of human life is pervasive in our contemporary society, so we must recommit to breaking down barriers that lead to hate and violence. And he notes that it is this devaluation of human life that leads to both domestic violence and terrorism. We must be part of the solution. We must “fight divisiveness and rhetoric that results in death of people.” Sheikh Omar concludes with a quote from the Qur’an, “Whoever saves one life, it is as if he has saved all of mankind, and whoever takes one life, it is as if he has killed all of mankind.”
The panel discussion could be summed up as encouraging everyone to get involved and reaching out to others to try to build bridges of peace for all peoples to benefit from. The faith leaders stressed going out beyond our religious communities, by opening up our places of worship and opening up our homes. We must also serve wherever there is a need and there is an opportunity to serve and collaborate for “the betterment of society and the purging of common evils.” Additionally, we should not allow people of bad character to teach us bad character; instead we should reach out further with compassion and a smile to create genuine bonding and true understanding of one another.
The vendors at the event support TMWF by giving a portion of their profits from their sales during the event to the organization. They also support the organization as community members. Salma Husayni of Moda Designs Jewelry is a former TMWF vice president of programs and events coordinator. She praises TMWF as working for “a good cause, with a good mission, and with good people.” In keeping with TMWF’s mission to empower women, two other female entrepreneurs, Sairah Rasheed of Steel Paisley (which produces home furnishings, accessories, and apparel) and Kawtar Idrissi of Tizirii Moroccan Argan Oil Products (for Hair, Nails, and Skin) both work with international artisans and farmers for their products.
Another organization in attendance with a mission to empower women was The Ladies of Austin. One of their organization’s members, Mouna Hashem describes it as, “a social club with a charity twist” based in Austin, Texas. They sold products at the luncheon that support and fund Syrian refugees living in camps in Turkey and Jordan. Women in the refugee camps make the products, which include hand made scarves, table linens, bottle holders, hot water bottle covers, dolls, and other items. Some of the proceeds also go to a school in Turkey serving 400 Syrian refugee children.
Many of the guests at the TMWF luncheon expressed similar sentiments to the speakers and the vendors and showed that they truly understand the spirit of the organization. When one guest, Zeinab Ellam, was asked why she is involved with TMWF, she said, “Life is good, so help wherever you can.” Another guest, Dr. Shah said that he appreciates how TMWF takes up “women’s causes and helps a lot of people.” Zain Ali applauds the efforts of the women’s shelter because it “fills the gap and fulfills the need” of the community; additionally, the counseling “helps people get back on their feet.” He also praises the youth program as having a very positive influence on his own children.
Jan Robinson, a TMWF guest and member of Zonta International, the global organization that empowers women through service and advocacy, said, “we are ‘professional do-gooders.’” She looks forward to starting a relationship with TMWF as they are working in the same vein. Dr. Harryette Ehrhardt of Peacemakers Incorporated, an organization that “empowers peacemakers, locally and globally, through education, communication, and action” said she is very excited to get to know about TMWF. Her impression of the luncheon was, “I want many to know you and know more about you. It shall be my pleasure to pass the message along. I am so proud of what you stand for. I am so proud of what you are doing. I am so proud that you and I live in the same community. Thank you for being a gift to us.”
Some of the TMWF staff interviewed highlight which of their passions motivated them to get involved TMWF. Shafaq Ahmad, the resident artist and the Islamic Arts Revival Series (IARS) juried art exhibit director, enjoys the concept of IARS as a support organization for TMWF’s vision of community building through the arts and interfaith outreach. Mahmuda Hossain, TMWF Vice Board Chair, says “It’s a great organization of hard working people from the staff to the board to the volunteers.” She wants to get the word out to everyone to “Come join us so we can grow together to perfect us and all the community!”
Shared from guest Sameena Karmally –
“Great program at the 5th Annual Mother’s Day Luncheon hosted by Texas Muslim Women’s Foundation, hearing from Elana Ann Zelony, a woman rabbi in a conservative synagogue describe her encounters with discrimination, Michael W. Waters, a Methodist pastor reminding us that women are always on the front lines and disproportionately affected by violence, and Omar Suleiman a muslim imam decribing how faith communities came together to rebuild after Hurricane Katrina. Very inspiring!”
A Texas Foundation with Muslim Roots Promotes Violence-Free Homes for All
Amaya* came to the United States with her three children, seeking asylum because of the severe abuse she suffered at the hands of her husband in her country of origin. Other providers gave her resources regarding pro bono legal services, but no one actually helped her because her case was complex.
Mahira* feared she’d never get her seven children back after they were removed by Child Protective Services (CPS). She was also fearful because when her children were first removed, they were separated, and one was molested in foster care.
Amaya and Mahira are among the many helped by the Plano-based Texas Muslim Women’s Foundation (TMWF), a grantee of the Family and Youth Services Bureau’s Family Violence Prevention and Services Program. Founded in 2005 by a group of Muslim women, initially to address general issues facing Muslim women, TMWF has focused primarily on domestic violence since 2011.
TMWF helped Amaya to retain a private immigration attorney and coordinated with all the local mosques in the area to raise funds to cover her legal fees. Her asylum petition was ultimately approved, and she received her work permit.
TMWF helped Mahira to get her children back. The staff worked with CPS to place the children in their grandparents’ home before Mahira regained custody of them. Mahira also participated in parenting classes through TMWF.
With 25 employees, 20 of whom work exclusively for its domestic violence program, TMWF operates a 24-hour emergency domestic violence shelter with 16 beds (where residents can stay as long as needed, typically 90 to 180 days) and five units of transitional housing. TMWF also offers outreach and nonresidential supportive services, including immigration and family law legal services. The organization provides individual and group counseling to adults and children (residential and nonresidential), intensive child play therapy, and even yoga. TMWF also helps women apply for Section 8 housing and locate Section 8 units upon exiting its program.
The organization serves everyone, Muslim and non-Muslim. Its first shelter client, a non-Muslim woman who stayed there with her three children for an extended period of time, hoped to further her education. TMWF helped her to access crime victim compensation funds, file a Violence Against Women Act petition (so that her immigration status would not be dependent on her husband’s), and negotiate a divorce settlement that secured her a car and the house. With this support, she accomplished all her goals, including finishing school.
Economic empowerment is a top priority for TMWF. Beyond helping clients apply for public assistance, the organization works to build survivors’ confidence and capacity to navigate their own life in their own hands. The focus is on finding permanent solutions for the clients.
All services of TMWF are trauma-informed and culturally responsive. Staff members speak 14 different languages, and the TMWF website can be translated into 24 languages. Its brochures are available in Arabic and Urdu.
Partnerships with others in the community help TMWF to take a holistic approach in serving its clients. For example, TMWF has helped five individuals (three of them domestic violence survivors) to prepare for working in the medical field by enrolling in a two-year medical education program. It is working to recruit Muslim families willing to become foster parents and help them get trained through CPS. TMWF has developed partnerships with faith leaders (imams, pastors, rabbis) to raise awareness about domestic violence within their congregations. It also works with local university students, who educate their peers about domestic violence and host fundraising events benefiting TMWF.
TMWF continues to face challenges. One is finding culturally appropriate services for drug-addicted abusive husbands whose wives do not want to leave them but do want them to receive treatment. Another is developing services for male victims of sexual assault. A third is addressing comprehensively the mental health needs of clients, especially refugee clients who may suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of fleeing war. Like most nonprofit organizations, it has funding and staff development challenges as well.
Despite the challenges, this organization of “Muslim women for all women” is absolutely committed to its mission. As TMWF’s website states, “We believe that by promoting and supporting women and their families, we can build stronger communities based in cultural awareness and understanding.”
*Name changed to protect confidentiality
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TMWF’s Executive Director Hind Jarrah, Ph.D. and Chief Operating Officer, Mona Kafeel, were recently interviewed on CBS “Plugged in to DFW” show by Karen Borta. We are thankful to the producers and reporters for highlighting how our programs are fulfilling the critical need of our community and society at large.
Below are the links for the 4 segments of the show:
Mary*, is an American born woman married to a Middle Eastern man, and a mother of 3 girls who used to live overseas. When one of her daughters moved to Texas to continue her studies, the family decided to pay her a visit. During this trip, Mary’s husband became very abusive. It escalated into a very dangerous situation and Mary and her daughters were forced to seek safety at the Peaceful Oasis Emergency Shelter. The family became very depressed and they lost all hope after realizing that they would no longer be able to return to their home. The father began actively searching for his family and it became an extremely tense situation for both staff and the clients to stay safe.
Working with the supportive staff at TMWF, they began to receive case management, counseling and legal services to move them forward to happier state. With persistence and hard work, Mary actively sought out employment to set her on the path to financial self-sufficiency. She qualified to move into our transitional housing and finally felt happy and secure with her daughters in their new apartment.
Her older daughter resumed her studies and Mary’s good fortune continued with the good news of her approval for affordable housing. She continues to take great strides towards achieving her goal of creating a better life for herself and her children. They are now living with peace of mind and happiness and are very thankful for the services and support they received from TMWF.
*Name has been changed to protect her identity.